Marriage Saving Tips for Every Couple03/03/2015
One of the main reasons for problems arising within the marriage relationship is the element of incompatibility. Once the initial excitement of the new relationship wears out, the couple soon finds themselves locked in a situation where they share nothing in common. This can be something positive if handled well, but it usually ends up bringing a lot of negativity into the equation and this eventually leads to the breakup of the marriage.
In order to be able to ensure the relationship has a better chance of survival; both parties should question their roles and perceptions linked to the relationship. You should discuss compatibility, understanding, cooperation, similar hobbies, types of interests, points of disagreements and joy and any other elements that would dictate the kind of participation either party will extend towards the relationship. When it comes to the negative aspect within the relationship, both parties should be acutely aware of how these situations are tackled and the duration the negativity is present until there is some resolution in sight. There will also be a need to examine how these resolutions are sought and incorporated for the aim of getting the relationship back on track. These questions are well worth exploring within the beginnings of the relationship as this is helpful in dictating the eventual course the relationship will take. It is also a good way to gauge the potential for pursuing this particular relationship and what the eventual goals expected are.
Schedule Time Together
In order for a relationship to work, both parties must be equally committed to the idea of making the relationship work as much as possible. This includes exploring ways to spend time with each other without the need to be forced into doing so.
Enjoy Each Other’s Company
Making an effort to spend time together is very important if the couple intends to grow the relationship and to keep it happy and healthy for a long time to come. Without the effort to spend quality time together, the couple may find themselves eventually drifting apart and this may even lead to the eventual possibility of divorce. It is especially important to make time for each other, especially if both parties live very active and hectic professional lives. When this happens, it becomes very easy to use work and other distractions as an excuse to not make time for each other. This, of course, is a very bad habit to have in a relationship. The following are some recommendations on how to create the ideal platform for spending quality time together to keep the relationship current and strong:
- Before the relationship actually gets to the present stage, both parties will have done things together that were enjoyable enough for them to consider taking the next step in establishing a relationship. Therefore, making the effort to continue to indulge in these same activities will be beneficial to the relationship.
- Finding new things to do together that both parties will enjoy is another good way to create the opportunity to spend some time together as a couple. These new activities should ideally be the kind that both parties will enjoy, however sometimes it may be necessary to indulge in something that only one of the partners really enjoy.
- When it comes to keeping any relationship alive and exciting, there is usually the need to spice up things occasionally. This can be done through the use of love letters or perhaps going on date nights.
Simple Ways to Show You Care
In the initial stages of the new relationship, these two activities are very much indulged in and even expected. However, sadly, as the relationship progresses to a more familiar phase, both parties may start taking each other for granted and one of the most popular ways of the perception becoming evident within the relationship is the lack of love letters and date nights.
Most people make the mistake of thinking that such indulgences are no longer needed or necessary, thus falling into the rather boring routine that will eventually lead to the relationship getting into troubled waters. Couples who fail to continue these activities as the relationship progresses risk being taken for granted, and when outside opportunities present themselves, there is always the possibility of being tempted to indulge in these temptations as they will find ways to justify such indulgences. Therefore, in the quest to not only keep the relationship as exciting as first perceived, the couple should continue the exchange of love letters and date nights to also ensure there are no temptations to seek such activities elsewhere. Being active in the activities will also allow the couple to look forward to these endearing times and ensure both parties are constantly committed to putting their “best foot forward” at all times. This would include both the physical and mental aspects within the relationship.
Keep Yourself in Good Shape
During the dating stages, everyone usually goes the extra mile to appear appealing and at their best. However sadly, this is not so when the couple become comfortable with each other and are already in the relationship for some time. Experts on the subject strongly suggest not letting one’s physical appearance be neglected. This is also true when it comes to the mental growth of the individual in a committed relationship.
Show Pride in Yourself
People don’t seem to understand the importance of keeping up on both these fronts. Neither party will be interested in coming home to a relationship where there is no effort put into keeping each other excited and guessing. Boredom will usually be the result of such disinterest and this will eventually force both parties to seek excitement outside the existing relationship. There is always the danger of the stay at home partner being the one that eventually allows the mental and physical appearance to go downhill. Some people just don’t seem to understand the impact made on each other when there is a total lack of interest in the general upkeep, both mentally and physically. This is especially so when there are so many temptations outside the marriage perimeter, this often reminds the straying party of exactly what they are missing out on. This is often also one of the main reasons why there is infidelity and discord within a relationship that has been in existence for quite some time.
Busy schedules and commitments are often the excuses given for the lack of focus on keeping oneself in the best of conditions, both mentally and physically. If both parties don’t make a concerted effort to look good for each other, it certainly gives the impression of not valuing the relationship enough.
Put Your Spouse On The Top Of the List
Making a spouse feel important and loved in a relationship will definitely benefit both parties as the effort made will not go unnoticed for long. Making someone feel important is not only a delightful way of expressing love and respect for the person, but is also another way of cherishing the loved one.
Put Them on a Pedestal
Happily married couples will almost always attest to the fact that treating each other with respect and love goes a long way in keeping the relationship strong and being able to stand the test of time. Besides the more obvious reason such as love and respect for the spouse, this treatment will also show the level of value the individual puts on the existence of the spouse within the context of the relationship. It will also be a very natural corresponding action to return from the receiving party, thus making the relationship even stronger and longer lasting.
The more popular way of extending the attitude of putting the spouse foremost in thought and deed would be to always consult the spouse when important decision are to be made that would affect each other. Others may include finding ways to keep the spouse happy and contented within the relationship, by making a conscious effort to indulge in or arrange for activities that would make the spouse feel special and loved and even buying small gifts for no particular reason, except to express love. Simple acts that don’t cause a lot of work or money such as opening a door or pulling out a chair for the spouse will go a long way in making the spouse feel special and loved. Always choosing to spend quality time with the spouse whenever the opportunity presents itself is also one way of putting the spouse on the top of the list.
The Importance of Saving a Marriage
Marriage is not something that should be taken lightly and this is even more so when there are signs within the relationship that signify some level of trouble brewing. Most people try to take the necessary steps to save the marriage before throwing in the towel or raising the white flag in defeat.
Don’t Give Up!
Every marriage is worth saving, and it would certainly be worth the effort to try to salvage what was once something beautiful and wonderful. This is even more important of an exercise if there are children involved. The following are some ways to explore if both parties are really interested in making an attempt to save the marriage:
- Set aside some time to talk about things that have caused the marriage to lose its lustre. This may not be easy to do without outside help such as a support group or counselling sessions. Attempting to do so without guidance may cause the couple to get into an argument or worse, into a fighting match where unfounded accusations will make the situation even worse.
- Genuinely seeking another chance to make the marriage work is another option to explore in the quest towards saving the marriage. Sometimes asking for another chance and then taking all the necessary steps to ensure genuine effort is made will help both parties view the marriage in a different light. Active participation towards the end goal of saving the marriage will require commitment and perseverance.
- Some people may decide to make physical life changing decisions in order to prove their sincerity toward wanting to save the marriage. These may include changing jobs, relocating to a quieter neighbourhood to create a better quality of life or even new activities.
There is really no point in giving up on a marriage and wasting many years and much effort. As long as there is still love in the picture, there is still a chance of fixing things. However, it is important to know when a relationship is better ended such as toxic or abusive situations. If there is still a spark there, you should definitely try some of the above tips to fix your marriage, after all some people believe you only get one shot at true love.
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