DEFEAT DIVORCE AND SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE - Part 1 - Anthony's Library and Resources

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Friday, 27 February 2015


It has been theorized too many times that men and women are diametrically opposite beings. The theory goes on to say that there are totally different things that drive both these genders, and there are different things that they are looking for. That is the reason men and women act and behave in radically different ways.

Now, while the truth is that nature itself has ordained us to be different, which means our behaviors are characteristic of the gender that we belong to, it is also a sordid fact that this can create a lot of problems. There are several instances in which men and women do not understand each other, due to which there are disagreements and arguments between the two, even leading to drastic steps such as breakups and divorce. 

There are some pretty heavy and deplorable numbers about relationships that have not worked out, while it is true that if just a little more effort and understanding were used, these relationships could have worked amazingly well. 

The intention of this article is to show what repairs could have been possible in relationships that soured down, and to reveal that with some more considerate effort, many of our relationships could be veered in the right direction. 

This article shows you that men and women are fundamentally different and we need to understand and accept these differences. We need to understand that there are different things that we look for in life, and even in a relationship, there are different things that a man and a woman look for in each other. If this one fundamental law of nature is kept in mind, then both genders would be able to live in better harmony with each other. Realizing our differences, we would be in better stead to become a unified whole. 

It takes time and it takes effort, but, most importantly, it takes a great deal of maturity and understanding. If we accept these differences in our partners, we will have more meaningful relationships. With this article, we are not trying to tell you to change what nature has made you as—that is not going to happen—but it is necessary to realize that your partner is a different person. It is not necessary that they should like the same things that you do and say the same things that you speak. 

At the same time, most of the things that we label as selfish and inconsiderate in our partners, are actually quite different from what they appear. These things are nothing but the fundamental traits of those people. They are fashioned to behave in that particular manner. If a man forgets his wife’s birthday, it is not because he does not care for her—it is because nature has designed him to focus on one job at a time. 

Maybe he was just too busy with something else, his mind was biologically diverted to that task completely, and he slipped up. Or, when a woman spends too much time looking after herself, the man should not think that she is being vain. Nature has designed women in such a way that they like to take care of their appearance. 

This is what we have to understand and accept. Instead of creating the world into a war zone full of enmity between the sexes, it is important to understand the diametrical differences between the two genders, and live in harmony. We are designed to be different. It is time to accept that and live in harmony. 

As you read on, you are going to see the different ways in which man and woman are designed to be different. You are going to read how to find out these differences in your partner and what you should do so that there is no cause for discord. 

We will suggest you to maintain a journal of your relationship, a journal that you will create and update in discussion with your partner. You will be able to vent out your feelings in this journal and you will be able to understand how your partner is disposed as well. You will find that just the process of maintaining this journal will go a long way in helping your relationship to improve. 

In the first place, you have to learn and remember the above really crucial precepts regarding mortal nature. To a certain extent, these precepts apply to everybody, including you and me! Really crucial things you must not do if you earnestly wish to recover your mate or save your marriage don't show that you're starving for your spouse’s or mate’s presence. 

Regardless of how much you wish your mate or your spouse to remain by your side, or to be back with you, more starving and hanging on will only make that individual even more tired and fed up with seeing you or making up with you. 

Rather, cultivate the mental attitude, habit and conduct such that you don't require that individual to be around for your happiness or pleasure. You truly don't require someone else’s presence or approval to receive happiness and peacefulness. If you discover how to cultivate this sort of mental attitude and habit, you'll discover that your mate will be the one who will become frightened! They will get frightened of losing you! 

Think of this: human beings tend to want what they don't actually have!  If your mate or spouse is seeing somebody other than you, don't stop them from seeing other people! Here’s what you have to do. Don't stop your mate from seeing others. If you sound off, and whine, and nag, I can tell you, the more they'll wish to see the other individual! 

How come? They can’t stand your sounding off, and yammering, and nagging! If you wish to stop them from having something that they desire, all the more they'll desire it! Humans tend to desire what they don't actually have. So, if you attempt to stop them seeing a different individual, all the more they'll wish to be with that individual!  To them, it’ll be a great challenge if you attempt to stop them. 

If they ever win that individual, they’ll feel triumphant about it! And guess what, you're the one challenging them that they won't have what they desire! Remember, battling to get back the one you love almost guarantees your failure.  So, what you have got to do is to provide them freedom of choice! Let them feel that you're the better individual to be around than your competition because you respect their freedom and their options!  Don't restrict your mate or your spouse. Human beings tend to balk things or individuals who command or confine them! 

Respect your mate’s decisions or wishes to do whatsoever he or she wishes to do during a specific day or during a specific time.  If he or she wishes to go out with someone else today, let them alone! If he or she doesn't wish to see you today, let them go! 

The more you don't give them your tending, guess what, they’ll want your tending back! They’ll begin wanting it! And they’ll urgently want it back. The more you provide them attention, the more they’ll feel that you wish to command them, to restrict them, and the result is, they’ll balk it, they’ll battle back! This will just hurt the relationship between the two of you. 

Read part two of the article here.

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