Save Your Relationship - Anthony's Library and Resources

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Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Save Your Relationship

Relationships always start off happy and full of excitement and there is no better feeling than that ‘new relationship’ feeling. Your first fight is terrible because it recognizes a sign of maturity in a relationship and that new feeling is fading.  Then if you start to feel that your relationship is in trouble; that can just be absolutely devastating.

As soon as you start seeing some signs of trouble in your relationship you can start to panic and might even start acting and thinking irrationally – which really doesn’t help the situation one bit.  How you act now can make or break your relationship so if you really want to save this amazing relationship then the following tips might be useful to you.

1. What is the Problem in the Relationship?
The first step to saving a relationship is to identify the cause of the problems that you are having.  All relationships will have some problems but some problems are worse than others and these problems are the ones that can break a relationship if they aren’t resolved.  Even the small issues are worth working at getting resolved as even though they are small, they can build up over time and become the cause of a failed relationship.  So to save your relationship and your love for your partner, it is important to identify any problems and work through them together.

2. Talk to Your Partner about the Problem
A relationship is a two person journey and you can’t solve all problems on your own.  So if there is a problem in your relationship you will need to sit down with your partner and discuss it, don’t just try to resolve the issue yourself.  By talking about any problems that you have then you can both work toward solving the problem and saving your relationship.

3. Do You and Your Partner Still Love Each Other?
A relationship won’t work without love to hold it together and sometimes people just fall out of love.  Love is a very powerful tool and if you both still love each other then you should be able to use that tool to save your relationship.  If your love for each other has died off then it may be time to say goodbye, but if there is still a glimmer of love then your relationship has hope.

It is possible to save a relationship that has problems if you can keep the above tips in mind.  Love is a two way street and you both need to feel love toward each other and be committed to saving your relationship.  If your partner doesn’t want to be in the relationship at all then you can’t force him to stay, but if he does still love you then there will always be hope.  Stay calm, look at the problems rationally and work them out together.

Over time relationships can deteriorate if we do not nurture them and it is only when they are on the brink of collapse that we start to realize that they are slipping away. Saving a relationship is not always easy and, if it has deteriorated to the point where it now seems to be falling apart, you may be looking for a quick fix before you lose your loved one. If you want to save a relationship and get it back on track, don't wait for your partner to make it better. Read on to find out what went wrong and what action you need to take now to make sure it survives. 

Often, when we enter into relationships, it's because we are hoping that another person will fill a huge gap in our lives. We are looking for a quick fix, although we will generally be disappointed in the long-term. Whilst the intoxicating initial stages of love may work to do this for a short period, the reality is that our flaws eventually take over. It is usually our inability to share and communicate effectively with each other that will eventually kill our relationship slowly over time.

One of the reasons for this is that, more often than not in relationships, we consider our own needs above those of our partner. We get upset when they don't meet our needs as we would want. We perhaps try to mould them into the person that we originally wanted them to be and we even tell them how they should behave. Then, when we don't get our own way, we allow anger and contempt to take over and replace the love and appreciation that we felt initially. 

The fact of the matter is that unless both partners are accepting and appreciative of each other, and willing to sacrifice some of their own needs for the good of the both, then over time their relationship will deteriorate. Both need to learn to share and work together otherwise they will not be able to function as a couple. If you're more interested in getting your own needs met than building a loving, mutually respectful relationship, then it's not going to work in the long-term.

One crucial aspect of a relationship is communication. It is important that both partners are able to express their needs and opinions to each other without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. If you're not able to negotiate because you don't know how, or because one or both partners aren't able to listen, then communication can only deteriorate. When negative patterns of blame and disrespect are allowed to take root, it often leads to a downward spiral of diminishing levels of trust, friendship and passion in the relationship.

If you want to save your relationship, you need to replace these negative patterns with more positive patterns of love and affection. However hurt you feel, you must stop blaming and start listening. Only respect and acceptance will allow you to re-cultivate friendship and laughter. So start to see the best in your partner instead of the worst and allow them a compliment instead of a put-down.

When saving a relationship, even if your partner fails to open up to your new methods of communication initially, do not allow yourself to slip back into old negative patterns. Show that you are determined to change for the better and sooner or later you should both start to forgive and reconnect. It only takes one person to change a relationship for the better. Don't wait for your partner to save your relationship
Start today and make these changes and let the rest fall into place.

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